Carin' for Karen

Karen tells us how crappy chemo is, and we tell her how uncrappy she is.

Monday, November 22, 2004

The Sunrise

Last weekend I went to the beach for a retreat. I have been going to this retreat every November for about 12 years. Last year I watched the sunrise and it was spectacular. For a long time I could see the brightness before the sun actually could be seen. The colors of pink and orange appeared stretching across the sky over the vastness of the ocean. It was so beautiful that I have looked forward to seeing it again all year. I woke up early in order to see it, but both mornings there were dark clouds in the way and I couldn’t see the sun. I know the sun came up. The light was evident of that, but I couldn’t tell exactly when the sunrise began or even if there was a sunrise. There were no beautiful colors in the sky.

From my perspective things were different. The clouds were in the way and that was the problem. But I see from God’s perspective nothing had changed. From the earthly point of view, the sun comes up. From the heavenly view point, the sun doesn’t go up or down. The earth circles around the sun as it spins on its axis. The sunrise from the heavenly viewpoint doesn’t change. I thought about this for quite a while in respect to how my life has changed since last year. In one respect, nothing has changed. That is the heavenly viewpoint. From an earthly viewpoint everything has changed. Lots of very thick dark clouds have appeared, so thick that I can’t see the sun; I even wonder if the sun has come up yet. The clouds are like cancer. They seem to hide the Son; His beauty, radiance and light. But that’s only from an earthly perspective.

I need a heavenly perspective. From a heavenly perspective the Son has not changed. The cancer is just a few dark clouds, no match for the radiance, power, beauty and glory of God. Things do look different this year from my perspective. The time and place of where I am affects my perspective. But if I remember I don’t have a good perspective here on earth to see the big, universal picture, then I must trust the One who does have the right perspective on the big universe. He sees the big picture. He sees me and He sees the clouds. He is even with me; in fact He is in me.

This year driving to the retreat we fought heavy rain that blinded us and blustery cold winds that pushed us when we were walking. But it is just weather. The earth hasn’t moved off its axis, the sun still is giving off its heat and light. Nothing has really changed. It just looks and feels different. Tomorrow will be a new day. It may look even more different, but from God’s viewpoint, the big picture, everything is the same because He is still in control.

People ask me how I am doing. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. I am hanging in there. I still feel like I am riding the rollercoaster blindfolded, but I am getting used to it. Am I having fun? Not really, chemo is not fun. It is hard. It’s not impossible, but it is hard. I guess you could say, I am trying to keep the right perspective. I am trying to get God’s perspective on all this. He says to give thanks in all things, so I think of all the things I have to be thankful for. There are many: medical advances in understanding how to fight cancer, the support and love from family and friends, the power of prayer and God’s daily presence and strength and . . . the sunrise. Everyday whether it looks as pretty as a picture or as dark as a storm brewing, either way the sunrise denotes a new day. A new day is something for which I can be truly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving !

1 Comments:

  • At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    To Karen. From Karen, a
    new homeschooling mom that you inspired and continue to inspire. I know God had a purpose for my meeting you last spring at a women's meeting. I have sat beside a loved one on a similar rollercoster ride but was unable to open my eyes while that loved one looked on. That was 20 years ago but seems like yesterday. Thank you for allowing me to share a glimpse of your journey through your writings on this blog. I am reminded of God's grace and presence in our lives. Thank you for your gift of sharing. Your life has greatly touched our family. Much love to you and yours this thanksgiving.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home