Doing well

I have been having trouble thinking of something to write this week since I feel pretty good. I don't have any stories of any new problems or any words of wisdom from things I've learned about adversity. Then it dawned on me that was worth reporting. I feel good. I had the regular 2-3 lousy days post chemo, but after that I have been feeling well. In fact I mostly feel like "the old me." It is so nice to feel good. I have a new appreciation for that feeling which before cancer I probably took for granted far too much. I have been busy with school; I have two mid-term exams this week and an oral report was due. I am trying not to over-do this week, but just do what needs to be done and conserve the energy I need for healing etc, but I am surely thankful for the strength and good health I am feeling. Thank you all for praying for me, it is working. I think I am about half way through chemo at this point and to feel this good is amazing. I continue to "give thanks in all things."

I hope you all are doing well also. Let me know how you are and who you are on the comments part of this site. It is fun to read who is reading me and what you are thinking.

Karen

Pacing myself

This is my "week off" which means that I only had Herceptin last Friday. I could tell the difference right away. It feels good to feel good again. I forget what it feels like to feel good until I feel it and then I remember how great it is. The only problem is that I forget that I don't have the stamina to do the things I used to do. I have to learn to pace myself when I do feel good because if I don't pace myself then I feel exhausted later. It is easier to pace myself when I feel lousy, but when I feel good I forget to be careful. It is all part of the learning to live with cancer and chemo. There is something new to learn all the time, even if it is things you wish you didn't need to learn.

Aside from these discoveries, I am having a good week. I am thankful for the beautiful weather and the amazing color of the changing leaves. I picked up some gorgeous leaves from our yard and brought them inside so I could see them more often. I appreciate the beauty in creation and am thankful for every new blessing from God. His mercies are new every morning, I just want to notice them and not take them for granted.

I have one more day to feel good before I start my next round of chemo again.

Weak this week

I haven't written much for a while because I haven't been feeling well. This was the first Sunday I didn't make it to church since I was diagnosed. I have cut back on many of my regular activities and I have been sleeping a lot. I was having a lot of trouble with diarrhea, but I feel better today. I slept most of the morning and also took a nap in the afternoon. I don't really feel badly, just simply weak. Friday I will have a week off from my regular chemo drugs; I will just get the Herceptin so I should help feel stronger next week.

I went to school on Tuesday and plan to go again tomorrow. It is amazing to me how I start out feeling like I probably can't go, but as the day goes on I get stronger. I believe two things are going on. I know that God is enabling me to complete what He has started. His grace is sufficient for me and His power is perfected in my weakness. The other thing happening is that my mind is concentrating on things other than myself. In both cases, when I am weak, then I am strong as it says in 2 Cor. 12:10.

Thankfulness

I heard today on the "Today" show that stress and thankfulness cannot exist together. I thought that was pretty interesting. Wouldn't that be something if we learned that the antidote to stress was simply being thankful? That is what an "energy coach" stated today. I have been thinking about this off and on all day because before I started this cancer journey I had purposed to "give thanks in all things for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus." About a week after I learned that I had cancer, I decided that I would continue to look for things to be thankful for in spite of the bad situaltion.

Last Friday, at my last chemo treatment, there were two different things for which I was thankful. First, I was thankful that I am now 1/3 of the way through my 6 month treatment. Back in July when the doctor first started talking about 6 months of chemo, I thought that was a really long time. At this point it doesn't seem all that long. During this time I have seen God's strength and help daily. Even last Friday I met a woman at chemo who is at the beginning of her breast cancer treatment. As she and I sat in our recliners, being infused with the drugs, her husband I sang hymns and shared our stories of our faith. It was such a nice time that I didn't even think about the drugs, pain, cancer, and other negitive things. Some friends came by to visit with me about the same time the woman and her husband were leaving, so during the whole 4 hour ordeal at chemo, I was simply enjoying myself. The whole time was pleasant. Just like the saying,"find joy in every journey," having a thankful attitude means choosing to focus on what is good instead of the bad. This may be the most important thing I may learn during this jouney.

Another weird thing to be thankful for was the fact that I have gained some weight. It's no wonder. It seems like I mostly eat and sleep a lot of the day. My activity level is way lower than what it used to be. Well anyway, each week I have to have a shot to raise my hemoglobin level; I have had this painful shot twice before, but I recently learned that it was more painful for me because I don't have much fat in my arm where the shot is injected. I asked the nurse why she couldn't inject me in a place with some more fat. Lo and behold, I learned that she could! So I have something else to be thankful for. The nurse tried injecting me in the tummy where the new weight gain is and what a difference itmade! The shot was so much less painful that I almost didn't even notice it.

Enjoying the journey and thankful to be alive,

Karen