Carin' for Karen

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2007-12-15T11:28:00.000-05:00

January 19, 1954 - December 13, 2007 (on earth)

Thank you, mom.

2007-12-15T11:23:00.000-05:00

Karen B. Aldrich, whose faith and love impacted all those who came to know her, beloved wife and mother of four, died from advanced breast cancer Thursday surrounded by her family in her home in Wilson. She was 53.

Karen originally was an elementary teacher and her patient, guiding kindness and faith continued as she raised four loving children and was treasured by countless others.

Karen Burnham was born in Elmira, New York on January 19, 1954. She was the second of five children born to Robert and Valera Burnham. Her father served in the Second World War, and then returned to work as a fireman. Her mother had a love of learning and volunteered for many years as a librarian.

At Thomas Alva Edison High school, her love of music, vocal talent, and engaging personality naturally led her to perform in musicals - songs which she continued to sing throughout her life - cheerleading, and to form deep, lasting friendships. Family gatherings frequently included uproarious tales of famous antics involving her and close friend Ellen McCaulley.

Karen and her mother, while trying to find SUNY-Cobleskill, joked that a herd of cows in a field must be it and soon realized they were correct. Before graduating with a degree in early childhood education, her time in Cobleskill led her to meet Dan Aldrich at a Christmas party while he was home from college. She ensured he studied; he ensured she married him in 1974. She agreed on the condition he support her continuing education.

What she considered her life's work began in 1977 with the birth of their first child, Elizabeth. Mark, Abigail, and Matthew followed. Her children profess her parenting as "faith, hope, and love – but the greatest of these is love."

Her devotion to her children and her belief in the importance of education led her to begin homeschooling at a time while it was still controversial. As the family moved to Wilson, she was a leader in the Wilson Area Home Educators and regularly calmly helped parents deal with stressful situations. She spent 14 years homeschooling one or more of her children. While passionate about quality children's education, she believed true learning continues throughout life and beyond. She believed a well-rounded education includes arts, sciences, biblical studies and requires service.

Despite her many duties as a full-time wife and mother, and as a frequent volunteer, she returned to school in 1993 at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, taking classes as she could fit them in. In 1999 she achieved a life long goal, earning her Bachelor of Arts in Biblical Studies. She continued studying at Southeastern, and in 2005 earned a Masters of Divinity, attending full-time even while undergoing chemotherapy during her final semesters.

The family attends Raleigh Road Baptist Church, where Karen was an integral member. She was heavily active in youth and children's ministries, several times organizing Vacation Bible School and serving as a Sunday School teacher. She had a heart for missions and went on many mission trips including trips to New Hampshire, Miami, Brazil, and Southeast Asia. She served as a prayer partner for several missionaries and even spent a time showering with cold water when she learned that a missionary friend had only cold water. Despite her physical infirmities, she continued steadfastly, presently serving as head of the Women's Ministry.

She documented many of her highs and lows of diagnosis and treatment online here and people from around the world sent messages of gratitude and thanks for her words of hope and faith. She was active in the local cancer support group and speaker at the Relay for Life Survivors Banquet in 2006 where she spoke on Learning, Loving, Laughing, and the Lord. She regularly spoke to people known and unknown upon their own diagnoses, sharing wisdom, hope and love. Throughout her treatment, she did not complain; instead she radiated joy - demonstrating unbelievable courage - and was eternally hopeful to the end. She reassured her loved ones by saying "The worst case scenario is that I go to heaven."

Her radiant loving smile, vibrant adventurous spirit, genuine concern for all, and easy laugh endeared her to many; and she was loved by everyone who knew her. Many around the globe considered her a friend who stuck closer than a sister. She was known for her enthusiasm, encouragement, and embodiment of the fruit of the Spirit.

The family will receive friends today from 1-4 pm at Raleigh Road Baptist Church, 4105 Raleigh Road, Wilson, NC 27893. Funeral services will be held there as well today at 7 pm. Flowers are welcome, also memorials to the RRBC building fund would be appreciated.

She is survived by her husband, W. Daniel Aldrich of Wilson, NC; two daughters, Elizabeth Aldrich, of Wilson, NC and Abigail Korfmann and husband Christopher of Lynchburg, VA; two sons, Mark Aldrich of Wilson, NC and Matthew Aldrich and fiancée Joy Barefoot of Wilson, NC; parents, Robert and Valera Burnham of Elmira Heights, NY; two sisters, Susan Bailey of Elmira, NY and Janice Herrity of Newport News, VA; one brother, Robert Burnham Jr. of Elmira Heights, NY; and one grandchild, as yet unborn.

Arrangements are by Joyner's Funeral Home, 4100 Raleigh Road Parkway, Wilson.

Update

2007-05-16T19:30:00.000-04:00

I am sorry that it's been this long since I last updated my blog. Much has happened since December, but I just didn't have the inspiration to write about it all. I was taken off the Lapatinib/Tycerb study at Duke at the end of March when it was discovered that the tumors in my liver had grown beyond the limits in the clinical trial. I was very sick. In fact I was hospitalized for two days. It took a while to figure out what all my problems were since there were many that were interrelated. Since then I have learned that I was severely dehydrated in addition to the tumors multiplying in my liver. For over a month now I have worked at drinking 64 oz. of fluid each day and started a new chemotherapy.

This week I got good news from my cardiologist that my heart is returning to normal function. The dehydration caused my heart to race when I did the simplest exertion. I am very grateful that I can now return to doing normal activities such as walking and talking without loosing my breath and making my heart go into adrenaline mode. This is part of the reason that I haven't written in this blog. If I took 8 steps or did even the simplest things I would get out of breath and feel like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. When I went to a cardiologist, he figured out that my blood just didn't have enough fluid it to pump my heart. I knew I was probably dehydrated because the Lapatinib gave me severe diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting. I know this isn't a pretty picture, but it's what has been going on. In fact the reason I was hospitalized was because they couldn't find my blood pressure.

Anyway, the latest news is that this week I learned that my heart is in good shape, my CT scan showed that there has been some shrinking of the tumors, and I am going to continue this new chemotherapy.

The bottom line is that I haven't given up hope. I am planning to walk down the aisle in about two weeks for my daughter's wedding and I going to continue to celebrate being alive each day the Lord gives me. Thank you for checking in with me. I'll try to post updates more often.

Pressing On

2006-11-27T18:39:00.000-05:00

The last time I wrote was over a month ago. I know many of you have been wondering what has been going on so I will attempt to fill you in. I had the various tests, but hadn't let you know what the results were. Well, they weren't great. The cancer had grown which indicated that the chemo wasn't effective. Because of this, I went back to Duke University hospital for their input. They are conducting a research study of a new breast cancer drug which I had been hoping to take part in, but wasn't allowed to take part in, until last month. I am now part of the clinical trial for the drug, Lapatinib or Tycerb. (It is known by both names.) I had been reading about the drug's benefits for quite a while, so when it worked out that I could be part of the study, I was really grateful.

I have been taking the drug for over a month now and early indications seem to imply that the cancer is responding. I have not had an easy time of it though. The side-effects are daily nausea, diarrhea, and sometimes vomiting. I am not sure if all these difficulties are caused exclusively by the Lapatinib or because of the ulcers and related problems. I suspect it is a little of both, but this is why I haven’t felt up to writing. I have spent a lot of time just dealing with being sick and trying to get a handle on the pain.

I have one week left before I go through another series of tests. Because I am part of the clinical trial, these tests (CT scans, bone scans, blood work etc) are required. It takes most of the day and I often come home tired, weak, and sick, but it’s all part of keeping a record of how the cancer is responding to treatment. So I press on.

I guess that is the answer to the question that everyone keeps asking me. “How are you doing?” I am pressing on. I refuse to give up no matter how sick I feel or how hard the road gets. As long as I keep pressing on, I have hope. Each day is a new gift from God. Each new day He gives me to live is a day which the Lord has made so I will rejoice and be glad in it. Sometimes I have to be reminded of this truth, but when I do remember it, I am strengthened.

Testing

2006-09-26T03:25:00.000-04:00

This is a week of testing. I had a PET scan on Monday, am going to have a CT and Muga test today, an endoscopy on Wednesday and a midterm in my philosophy class on Thursday. The medical tests are to help determine what is going on in my body. The peptic ulcers have continued to give me problems and I started a new chemotherapy about 5 weeks ago. The tests should help the doctors see if the cancer is responding to the chemo and if the ulcers have been improving. The philosophy midterm is an apologetics class I started taking toward my next degree. I am really enjoying the class and it is therapy for me.

I haven't posted anything in my blog for a while because I just didn't know what to say. My medical situation has become so complicated that even one of my doctors have told me he was baffled. The ulcers aren't "normal" ulcers; they were caused by the radiation and a virus. The virus, CMV, is difficult to treat since there isn't really a cure. One idea is to treat it with an anti-viral medication, but the side-effect of that treatment is a very weakened immune system. If I pursue this medication I run the risk of not being strong enough to take the chemotherapy.

So that is why I am undergoing all these tests. Hopefully we'll get some answers. I would guess that the results will be back in about a week, so I'll try to write back when I know more. In the meantime I appreciate your prayers. I know that we all have times of testing. There are different types of tests such as financial, emotional, spiritual, and physical, but enduring them can make us stronger. I am still reminded of what Jesus said to his disciples. My paraphrase is this, "In this world you will have tests and trials, but cheer up because I have overcome the world." Testing is part of living in this world. Overcoming is part of living with Jesus.

Time

2006-07-28T10:17:00.000-04:00

I had a CT scan yesterday and learned that the liver tumors haven't decreased or increased much since the last scan taken 6 weeks ago. That was not bad news, but it was different news than what we expected. I am very relieved to hear that the tumors in the right lobe of the liver didn't grow as aggressively as they have in the past, but on the other hand, we (including the doctor) were a little disappointed that the tumors in the left lobe, where the majority of the microspheres were administered, had not shown more response.

So what do I do from here? I continue to choose to rejoice in the good news. I learned that the ulcers were caused because some of the radioactive microspheres traveled to my stomach. But even though the ulcers have caused me no small amount of pain and aggravation, even they are healing. The healing is very slow, but there is progress.

I have learned another lesson out of this. Healing often isn't fast. I know that isn't profound and that everyone knows this, but when one is going though a hard place the time element is one thing that can get frustrating. My niece, Meaghan, has been fighting cancer of the spine for about 4 months now and she is making amazing strides, yet it's been the toughest 4 months of her life. There has been encouraging news on her healing- one of the tumors has disappeared and the other is smaller, yet she struggles everyday just to try to do the simplest things she used to do without thinking. If there was a way that we could instantly fix everything, we would do it in a heartbeat. But I think since there isn't such a thing, the best we can all do during any adversity is to take each day as it comes, make the most of the situation, focus on the progress without dwelling on the setbacks, and thank God for the grace He gives us to just go on one more day.

All this reminds me of a verse from one of my favorite passages from the Bible, the 8th chapter of Romans. Verse 18 states, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." In this verse, the sufferings we experience in this world are not dismissed, but are put in perspective of the eternal reality we can't see yet.

Ups and downs

2006-07-01T20:09:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I made a blog entry, so let me get you caught up with what has been happening. The day after the TV interview I started chemotherapy. One doesn't usually do chemo along with microsphere radiation, but Dan and I were concerned that since the doctor wasn't able inject the microspheres into the right lobe of my liver, then there was a possibility that the cancer in that side might grow so large that it would be a problem. After talking with my oncologist and after he consulted with the radiation oncologist, it was decided that it would be a good idea to start a different course of drugs. I learned that up until now I hadn't had the worst of the nausea producing drugs. This new drug was a killer, but that is the point. I want to kill all those cancer cells, so I endured the sickness as best as I could.

After about 10 days, I began to feel pretty good again, except for the occasional pain in the area where my largest liver tumor is. I had a CT scan and learned that the microspheres were all working exactly as they should and that the tumors in the left lobe of my liver were responding to treatment. Thank God. The doctor told me the pain I was feeling was consistant with where the large tumor was located and that would be normal for me to feel some pain. I figured, "no pain, no gain." No problem.

I guess I figured wrong. Things began to change after a few days unfortunately, and the pain and nausea kept increasing. I kept trying to tough it out, but things were not getting better. It fact it seemed that I was getting worse. This went on for over a week. The day before I was to have my next chemo treatment, I called the doctor and asked if the pain and nausea I was still having was normal.

As a precaution I had an endoscopy the next day instead of the scheduled chemo treatment. I learned that I have a peptic ulcer which is what has been causing the problems. I started on some medicine for that this week and there has been some improvement, but it isn't going to be a quick fix. Ulcers usually take 6 to 8 weeks to heal, but the good news is that it was just an ulcer. They did a biopsy and it was negative! I am very thankful for that.

I continue to look at all this and realize how much I have to be thankful for. In the midst of the pain, nausea, and frustration, I continue to choose to be grateful for the blessings. I am thankful for caring people who support me and cheer me on when I least expect it. They are on the journey with me, even though their journey is different. I realize that all of us are on a journey called life. There are ups and downs everyday, sometimes throughout the day. But the journey is the most pleasant when we focus on the high points, not on the low.

I want to thank each of you who have encouraged me and have given me so many high points on my journey. The emails, phone calls, cards, visits, prayers, and gifts are such a blessing! They lift me up and show God's love and concern shining through you.

2006-06-11T17:52:00.000-04:00

Mom made the news

Report about microspheres and the Race for the Cure on Channel 11 on 06.08.06

Microsphere Therapy

2006-05-16T05:05:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow, May 17th, I am scheduled for the microsphere infusion. The procedure should begin about 8 o'clock. It is an outpatient procedure lasting most of the day.

I cut and pasted the following information from the wakeoncology web site. It is a brief explanation what I will have done.

SIR-Spheres microspheres are radioactive polymer spheres that emit beta radiation. Physicians insert a catheter through the groin into the hepatic artery and deliver millions of microspheres directly to the tumor site. The SIR-Spheres microspheres target the liver tumors sparing healthy liver tissue. Approximately 55 physicians in the

United States

use Sirtex’s SIR-Spheres microspheres in more than 60 medical centers.

You can go to the following web sites for more information if you are interested:

http://www.sirtex.com/?p=57

http://www.wakeoncology.com/Default.aspx?tabid=4179

Last week Abby graduated from college with a B.A. in music. She had her senior recital on Tuesday and graduation on Saturday. I had the angiogram in preparation for tomorrow's procedure on Wednesday and the PET scan on Friday. The PET scan did not show any spread of cancer to any other organ other than my liver. That was a great relief!

It was a very busy week, but it was a good week. I continue to thank God for the blessings He abundantly has poured out on me and my family. What a joy it was to be able to feel good enough to attend Abby's big events. He continues to give me daily strength and hope. What an adventure life is!

Chapter 3

2006-04-29T20:30:00.000-04:00

Here we go again. I just learned yesterday that my latest CT scan shows that I have a 5.7 cm. tumor in my liver. This is the same area where the scan taken in December showed only a shard of the tumor left. I have been on chemo since the beginning of last June and it has been effective, but my doctor feels that some of the cancer cells must have mutated and become resistant to the chemotherapy.

What is the next step? Well, since fighting cancer isn’t an exact science, there isn’t a clear choice, but there are a few options. The first thing my oncologist suggested for me is see Dr. Andrew Kennedy. He performs microsphere therapy; this is a new procedure that has helped people with cancer in the liver. The microspheres are microscopic glass beads that are irradiated in Australia, immediately flown to Raleigh, and then injected into the patient by way of the hepatic artery. It is a kind of radiation therapy that is inserted into the part of the body that is infected with cancer.

I won’t know whether I am a candidate for this procedure until I see the doctor, but since I have consulted him before, I am expecting that I probably am. I will keep you posted.

Below is a picture taken at our Easter Pageant where my son played Jesus and my daughter played the violin in the orchestra. I sang in the choir, played Mary of Bethany and also helped with some of the directing. With the many hours of practices and performances I was pretty busy, but I felt so great! It was such a wonderful feeling to be active and enjoying having energy again. In fact I still feel good in spite of the disappointment of the latest development. I really am upbeat.

Thanks for checking in with me and praying. God is still hearing and answering. He isn't finished yet. This is just the third chapter in my cancer journey. There is much more to come, in fact I have hope that the best is yet to come.

post easter pageant

2006-04-28T16:52:00.000-04:00

Update

2006-03-14T19:05:00.000-05:00

It is been a while since I posted something and I am sorry for the delay. I went on a cruise for a week, and have been busy doing lots of things I love. Let me catch you up as quickly as possible. As far as how I am feeling, for the most part I feel fine. I have been tired, but that is about the worst of it. The fatigue is manageable since I don't have a 9 to 5 job. I can just rest anytime I feel the need.

I am still on a 3 week chemo cycle and according to my oncologist I will be doing this indefinitely. That was what I learned the last time I talked to him and I have to admit it was a little hard to hear. I was expecting a "finish line” or a date I could mark on the calendar which could be circled and then counted down to. But that isn't the case. The reason is because my breast cancer is advanced and aggressive. This is the best that medicine has to offer me.

So emotionally and spiritually I am back to where I started. I started this journey with the verse that says to give thanks in all things. I need to think on the things I have to be thankful for and not concentrate on the things that are impossible. I am thankful that I have the energy to live my life pretty much like I would have if I didn't have cancer.

Yesterday my daughter, Elizabeth, went to a new doctor and when she had to give a family medical history my health issues came up. When she told the doctor I was diagnosed at stage 4 over a year and a half ago and that I have the HER 2 Neu factor, the doctor asked, "How is she doing?" Elizabeth told her I was alive and the doctor was impressed! I asked her if she told the doctor that I was planning on going back to school for another degree and she said, "No, she was impressed enough that you were alive!"

So that's my update. I am alive and doing well. I am happy and thankful to be alive.

Healing

2006-01-17T11:01:00.000-05:00

I found out last week that the tumors in my liver are either dead or dying. I went to a specialist, a radiation oncologist, who told me that he thought my “liver was healed.” I couldn’t believe my ears! I still have 4 tumors in my liver, but he said that by studying the C.T. scans he believed that the tissue right up next to the tumors is healthy. That means the cancer is not infiltrating into my liver and that is awesome news. I will still have to continue chemotherapy because there are still probably many cancer cells floating around in my body, but as long as I am able to tolerate the toxic side effects of the chemo, I need to stay the course.

Since 2006 began, life has really become busy. Last week I started leading a class called “Experiencing God” on Sundays, went to the aforementioned doctor on Monday, had a chemo treatment on Thursday, worked on a speech for the woman’s fellowship this Friday, organized two birthday parties, worked on casting over 100 people for our upcoming Easter Pageant, and stepped up studying for the Ph.D. entrance exam which is this coming Monday.

In a earlier blog entry I mentioned that I took the M.A.T. as part of the application process for the Ph.D. program. Well, I am going forward on that. The last part of the application is a full day of essay exams about theology and philosophy. I have 9 books to read and study and I must admit that I feel a more than a little behind at this point. In fact as I am writing this I am feeling the pressure to wrap it up and get back to studying. But I just wanted to let you all know what is new and praise God for what He has done and is continuing to do.

Thank you for your prayers. God is hearing and answering. He is faithful.

Continuing Chemo and Christmas

2005-12-23T01:27:00.000-05:00

I just had another chemo treatment today (which explains why I am awake at this hour) and I had a CT scan last week. The scan showed that the tumors are continuing to respond to treatment so I am continuing chemotherapy. I think I just had my 10^th round of chemo since June which is a lot, but since the side effects are relatively minimal and the results are encouraging, then it makes sense to continue this treatment.

I have just realized that I can't think very well at 1:15 a.m. after having chemo. The drugs keep me awake, but it doesn’t matter that I can’t sleep, because I can’t seem to spell or think either. For this reason I will make this entry short. I just wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a year of God’s richest blessings. I also wanted to update you on the latest news of my cancer journey. Things are going well and I appreciate everyone who has encouraged me in so many different ways.

It seems that this is going to be a long journey and I wanted you to know that every prayer, note, email, card, meal, gift, phone call, etc has been so very helpful in keeping me strong.

Thank you.

Living

2005-12-02T07:37:00.000-05:00

A few of you have recently started asking me what’s going on since I haven’t written in a while. I am sorry about that. I didn’t realize how long it has been since I last made an entry in my blog. I have thought about writing, but I just couldn’t think of anything worth writing.

I have been busy, but I didn’t think any of it was worthy of telling. What have I been doing? Living. I just realized that the things that I thought weren’t important enough to write about are the very things that make up life. It is so wonderful to be living, and even though I try not to take it for granted any more, I realize that I must or I wouldn’t have dismissed what I have been doing as unworthy of reporting.

I have been feeling well for the most part. The chemo treatments only make me feel badly for about 5 days out of the 21 day cycle. Even on the sick days I go on with my life. I have been laughing, shopping, visiting, listening, talking, cooking, praying, seeing, loving, learning, studying, reading, singing, reflecting, walking . . .

I am not doing anything earth shattering, just living my normal life which, when I think about it, at this point in my cancer journey, is a fantastic thing to say.

November has been a great month. I spent a beautiful weekend at the beach. The weather was perfect and I was surrounded by friends, food and fellowship. The following weekend I had my chemo treatment, but a friend had a surprise 50^th birthday party that night that I couldn’t miss. Attending this celebration refocused my attention on the importance of everyday happenings that make up life. The kids came home for a couple of weekends in November which was a great delight to this new empty-nester mom.

I have learned not to lie around and think about how lousy I feel after a chemo treatment. Instead I go out and do what I would normally would do and try to ignore the aches and nausea. It is real therapy to go on with life regardless of how you feel. It reminds me of the verse that says, “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11).

I have a chemo treatment this morning in about 2 hours from now. If I don’t write again for a while, don’t worry about me. Just remember I am busy living.

The Journey Continues

2005-11-02T22:35:00.000-05:00

I have finished 6 rounds of chemo at this point. Since I am not having any really bad side-effects, I am going to continue taking Abraxane and Herceptin. I have very minimal neuropathy and other than that, the other side-effects such as intestinal problems, weakness, and hair loss are quite manageable. I learned last week that my heart was doing fine and doesn’t seem to show any deterioration caused by the Herceptin. In fact, it is a little stronger than the last time I took the test. The tumors have continued to respond to the chemotherapy therefore I am going to stay the course and keep on the same treatment.

I feel well most of the time. I have been walking regularly which is supposed to help fight cancer and I think it has been strengthening my heart, not to mention my emotional well being. I walk with different friends on different days of the week so as I walk, we talk and laugh. It is such a pleasant time that it doesn’t seem like exercise. Usually I walk about an hour a day.

I don’t have anything special to report; I am just continuing the journey. It is going well, but it isn’t very exciting at this point. Sometimes when one is on a long trip, it seems like the scenery gets monotonous. It’s not bad, just repetitive. I feel like I’m on that part of this journey. I want to say, “Are we there yet?” but I know we aren’t so I just settle myself down and patiently wait. In the meantime, I am reminded to continue to “find joy in every journey.”

Do you hear what I hear?

2005-10-05T09:40:00.000-04:00

Last week I went to East Carolina University to take the Miller Analogy Test. I needed to take it in order to apply for the Ph.D. program. Obviously this brings up a whole new subject which I will address at another time, but for now suffice it to say that’s why I was there. After the test, I was getting back in my car when I heard a bird singing its heart out. It was so amazing to listen to that I had to stop and pay attention to the concert. I couldn’t see the bird, but it was obvious that it was in the tree right in front of my car. The music was captivating; I hadn’t heard anything like it in ages. The bird was singing so loudly and with such gusto that I was intrigued. In addition, the bird song varied continually which prolonged my attention.

As I stood at my car door listening to this beautiful performance, I couldn’t help but comment to a lady walking by. (She was a student about my age, which in itself was unusual since most of the students walking by were around my kids’ ages.) So here I am standing with my keys in the car door, captivated by the wonderful melody proceeding from the tree in front of me, when I just comment to this woman walking by that the music we were hearing was glorious.

She looked at me with a surprised expression on her face and then responded that she hadn’t noticed the bird singing. She said that she’d been in this school for close to seven years and that the bird sings like that everyday. She said that she has become so accustomed to hearing it that she doesn’t hear it anymore.

I have been thinking about her comment for a week now. There is such a lesson in that. Is there something beautiful that I experience everyday that I have become oblivious to? Are there blessings which God bestows on me daily that I take for granted just because they are so recurrent? Do we all do this and if so what wonders are we missing because we are not appreciating them?

This week I had the joy of pushing a baby in a stroller. It had been a long time since I had done this and I hadn’t realized what a precious experience it was or how much I missed it. I am realizing that there are so many simple pleasures everyday, but I need to pay attention to them when they are happening or I will miss them completely. Hearing a bird singing, walking a sleepy baby, talking to a friend, holding a loved one’s hand, appreciating God’s beauty in creation - these are some things I want to continue to become aware of and be grateful for because they are what make life fulfilling. I am not sure if I would have noticed the bird singing had I not been appreciating life more because of my cancer journey.

If cancer has made me more grateful for life, then I choose to be grateful for cancer. I started this journey with I Thes. 5:18- “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I am still on the journey and the same truth continues to guide me.

The results are in

2005-09-10T09:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I got the results of my latest CT scan. I was nervous about hearing the results of this scan because this was the first scan that looked into my brain. Since I had learned that the kind of cancer that I have has a tendency to eventually spread into the brain, I was concerned about what might show up.

The good news is that the brain showed no cancer at all! The other good news is that the liver showed that the cancer has diminished again. I am so thankful and relieved that it is hard to put it into words. I know there are many people praying for me that I don’t even know about. It seems every time I go somewhere I meet someone who tells me that they are praying for me or that I am on their church’s prayer list. Each time I hear this I am so humbled and at the same time so grateful. Thank you to all of you that are lifting up my name to our Father. He is hearing and healing.

It is a privilege to see His work in my body and soul. Some days I am weak and wish I could pray more. It is at those times that I am comforted by the knowledge that even though my prayers may be feeble, there is an army of believers lifting up my name and doing battle for me. I am in awe every time I think of it. Again I am reminded of the scripture that says that when I am weak, then He is strong. His strength is seen in the countless prayers He is faithfully answering. Praise the Lord.

Back from Boston

2005-08-24T19:37:00.000-04:00

It's been a little while since I returned from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. I am going to try to give a brief report of what I learned. On the one hand I learned that the doctor thinks that I am responding well to Abraxane and that I should continue on that medicine. He suggested that since I am on a once every 21 days regiment, that I could also do the same with the Herceptin. This means that I get a triple dose of Herceptin when I get Abraxane, but that the next 2 weeks I won't have to have any chemo. I will only have to come in for lab work on those “off” Fridays. I started this new routine last Friday and it naturally took longer that day, but in the long run it will save me time.

One other thing that I learned was that the breast cancer that I have with the HER 2 factor has a proclivity for ending up in the brain. That of course was not good news, but just because the cancer has the tendency to go into the brain, doesn't mean that it is inevitable.

I have already had a miracle last year when after about 6 months of chemo, I went into remission. I learned then that only about 2% of people who have this kind of breast cancer have such a positive response. There is no reason to doubt that God can’t do another miracle and protect my brain from cancer. I will be having a CT scan in a couple of weeks where we will be able to see if there are any tumors there.

The trouble is, while HER 2 positive breast cancer has a tendency to metastasize to the brain, Herceptin, the drug that shuts down the extreme aggressiveness of this kind of cancer can’t reach the brain, because it can’t cross the blood-brain barrier.

This is the first time that I had ever heard of the blood-brain barrier, but I am beginning to learn more about it. It seems that our bodies were created with a natural barrier which keeps infections and other “bad things” out of the brain.

As I was with a group of women praying about this, one of the ladies prayed that the blood of Jesus would protect my brain from the cancer spreading in to it. As she was praying, I realized that I already had another blood barrier- the blood of Christ. His blood is even stronger than the natural blood-brain barrier.

Progress

2005-07-29T08:29:00.000-04:00

Today I start round three of my chemo. I learned this week that the tumors in my liver have diminished. Also the CT scan showed that I haven't developed any new tumors. All this is progress. I thank the Lord for these results and thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. It all helps. I have been feeling much better on the new drug (Abraxane) compared to how I felt last year. The negitive side effects seem to be fewer. I especially appreciate having more energy compared to the lower energy level experienced last year.

Next week I am going to Boston to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for a consultation. My sister, Janice, and I will be going together. I have been thinking of going somewhere for a second opinion for quite a while, but Boston seemed to be the most convenient place for a number of reasons. I would appreciate your prayers concerning this.

I have to be at the oncologist's office in an hour for my next chemo treatment so I'll have to end for the time being.

Independence and dependence

2005-07-04T10:28:00.000-04:00

Today is my second year in a row to celebrate the 4^th of July knowing I have cancer. Last year our family met some friends to watch fireworks at the mall. We had such a great time that we decided to repeat it again this year. I have learned that it is important to celebrate and have fun even when one doesn’t feel like celebrating. I believe it is vital to look for the good things and focus on them instead of the bad. I am trying to keep the same thought in mind that I had last year, “In all things give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.”

I have to admit that some days it is harder than others. Last Saturday I noticed that my hair was falling out again. I thought I was prepared for it, and had even joked about it, but when I got to the mall and was trying on wigs, the emotions just crashed over me like a storm. I sat in the center of the mall (the wig store was a kiosk) where anyone walking by on both levels could see me, and I just put my head down and cried. I didn’t expect it, it just happened. The reality of doing this ugly hair thing all over again just made me sad.

As I sat there looking in the mirror at myself wearing the wig and literally facing the reality of the situation, I was frustrated that I couldn’t find a wig that looked like what I wanted. I was also upset that I had to go through this again. Elizabeth was trying to encourage me by saying that maybe Terry (my hairdresser) could cut the bangs and make it work. As she was saying, “Maybe Terry…” he walked up and touched me. I was in shock. We were in the Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, so neither of us was close to home. I was so stunned and yet so grateful to see him! I really wanted his input on this decision. This is an example of the rollercoaster that I have been talking about for the last year. I went from grief to joy in just minutes. I was amazed at how we “just happened” to be at the same mall at the same time. I know it wasn’t a coincidence. We couldn’t have planned the timing of all this so well if we had tried! God was taking care of me. He cares about all our needs. He even cares about the little things. The Bible says that God knows the number of the hairs on our head. Well, I feel like He knew not only the number, but knew how few hairs I would have soon and was taking care of it. I am still amazed at how this all happened. It gives me reassurance that God is fully aware of my every need and has got it all under control. This was another example of how I must focus on the good things and give thanks in all things. I seem to be learning a new level of dependence on God. This is an interesting lesson to learn as we celebrate Independence Day.

Chapter Two

2005-06-21T17:47:00.000-04:00

I began chapter two in my cancer saga last Friday. I have felt okay considering everything. The day I felt worse was Sunday. Last time the chemo made me feel very nauseous and achy. This time I had a terrible headache and body aches accompanied by fever and chills. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Actually I can’t complain. The worse of it was just that one day and since I slept most of the day, it wasn’t so bad.

I went to the doctor's office today since I kept having chest pain. I was relieved to learn that my heart was fine, I was just having heart-burn from the chemo.

There is still much to be thankful for. I am thankful that my doctor is just minutes away. I am thankful that God still answers prayers and that so many people have told me they are praying for me again. I am also thankful for my family and friends that have been so supportive. What a blessing you all are!

I am back on the rollercoaster, but isn't that appropriate for summertime anyway?

Thanks for checking on me. By the way, some of you have told me you have had a difficult time leaving a comment on this blog. I have learned that if you choose "anonymous" then you shouldn't have any problem.

Take care and God bless.

2005-06-15T22:44:00.000-04:00

graduation pic of mom

2005-06-15T22:39:00.000-04:00

graduation

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2005-06-12T20:11:00.000-04:00

The Good-
I have had a season of rejoicing. I graduated on May 27th with a Master of Divinity from Southeastern Baptist Seminary. This same day Matt graduated from high school. He received many academic and athletic awards, including Valedictorian. Elizabeth passed the N.C. Bar. This Spring has been full of so many blessings, I have been in awe.

The Bad-
I had a CT scan last week and learned that the cancer has returned in my liver. I have more tests scheduled this week and the plan is for me to begin chemotherapy on Friday, June 17th. The CT scan showed the tumors are large. It was a shock and a disappointment, but we are dealing with it all.

The Ugly-
According to the nurse, I should loose my hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows within the first 21 days. So back to the wigs, hats, and scarves.

That's all for now. Please keep our family in your prayers. We know God answered the last time. He will do it again. He is faithful.

Karen

I'm doing well, just busy

2005-05-19T21:40:00.000-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since I have updated this. I am doing great. I have been busy finishing my master's degree and by next week, May 27th, I will walk across the stage. Today I had my last Hebrew class. The last two things to complete are my final exams in Philosophy and Hebrew.

I continue to go every week to the oncologist for my dose of Herceptin. I feel great, in fact, I may feel more energetic than I did before I got sick.

God is so good. He who began a good work in me is faithfully completing it.

Thanks for checking on me.

2005-02-23T20:04:00.000-05:00

I finally posted the picture that mom wanted on here.

Valentine’s Day

2005-02-14T13:36:00.000-05:00

It’s been a while since I posted anything and I just wanted you to know that I haven’t quit. I have just been busy. Last week I made my Playhouse début as a nun in "The Sound of Music." We had six performances and I had a great time. I was very tired when it was over, but it was worth it. Afterwards I came down with a cold. I regretfully report that I have not yet fully recovered from it yet, but the musical was a huge success and I am so grateful I had the privilege and the energy to do it.

On Friday of the same week, there was an article in the Wilson Daily Times telling people about my cancer journey. The reporter used some of my journal entries to tell the story. I am still hearing people tell me that they loved the article.

I started back to school the same week that "The Sound of Music" opened. I have classes three days a week this semester; my busiest day is Tuesday. The classes are a challenge, but now that I have been through chemo for six months, even classes such as Philosophy and Hebrew don’t seem like such a daunting tasks to complete in comparison. They surely are a challenge, don’t get me wrong, but I look at things differently now. Most people say that happens- that you get a new perspective on life when you experience something like cancer. Now I know what they mean. As much as I have always been concerned about ordering my priorities, having cancer is like revisiting the priorities and seeing some things as not as important as you once thought and conversely, seeing other things such as relationships with family and friends as more important than ever.

This brings me back to the title of this entry. Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you who have loved and supported me in so many ways during this cancer journey. I appreciate it very much and send my love to you.

Celebration

2005-01-27T13:14:00.000-05:00

On January 14th I finished my last chemo treatment. What a day of rejoicing it was. I was a little apprehensive since the week before I had such a bad reaction, but on the other hand I eager to finish my last treatment. All went as it should without any major drama. Later that night we went out to dinner to celebrate Mark’s birthday and afterwards went to Matt’s basketball game.

It was the homecoming game and it was very exciting. Matt’s team was losing, but in the last few minutes of the fourth quarter he stole the ball and made a basket. Then two different teammates also scored and those 6 unanswered points made the crowd go wild. The team came from behind and was now ahead. I was especially going crazy. They won the game and it was awesome!

Then, while the senior boys on the team washed up and changed into suits, the gym was transformed and things were set up for the homecoming ceremony. When they announced the homecoming king, Matt’s name was called. What a day this was! There was so much to celebrate, I couldn’t get over it.

I have wanted to write all this for over a week, but I wanted to include the pictures we took with it. I still don’t know how to do that yet, but I decided to write this now and add the pictures later when I can. I now have something else to celebrate and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.

I had another CT scan yesterday and I already have learned that there was no evidence of cancer found at all. Can you hear me shouting, “Hallelujah!!”? I know this is a work of God. I knew He was healing me; I knew He was hearing all the many prayers that have been lifted on my behalf. I knew He had and still has a plan for me. I knew this would work out for good, but I didn’t know how long this trial would last. All I could do was trust the Lord knowing He was in control and that His timing was perfect.

The verse with which I started this journey, continues to speak to me, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” No matter what our circumstances may be, He is there to help us through. I am so thankful for God’s healing and faithfulness. Rejoice and praise Him with me.

Today was Scary

2005-01-07T23:41:00.000-05:00

I had chemo today which was scheduled to be my second to the last treatment. Things were going normally; I had all four of the pretreatment drugs including Benadryl, and had finished first chemo drug Taxol. Then things changed.

While the Carbo-platin was being administered, I began to feel weird. It happened quite suddenly and before I had time to think much about whether I was ok or not I began to have trouble breathing. I turned to tell my daughter that I had a problem when I realized that I couldn’t talk. (I remembered later that you need air to move across your vocal chords in order to talk and since I couldn’t breathe very well, I also couldn’t talk).
We were watching a DVD on her lap top and so she was only about a foot away from me. I tried to say the words, though they only came out in a whisper, “Something’s not right!” She immediately ran to get the nurse. They came back running and in minutes an alarm was sounded, everyone in the office was encircling me and the nurse had turned off the drug that had been was dripping into me.

I felt pressure in my chest and was still having trouble breathing, although by now I was beginning to feel a little better. I didn’t know it then, but learned today that Carbo-platin is a drug that if you are going to have an allergic reaction to it, it will happen after you have been on it for a while. It’s like your body finally speaks up and says, “Enough is enough. I’m not putting up with this anymore.” Well, that was exactly what was happening and since the nurse had stopped the IV containing the drug already and had started flushing with saline, I was beginning to feel a little better. My body continued to react in a rash from my face to my stomach and arms. My hands turned very red and were extremely itchy. But all in all, I was ok. It was such a comfort that the whole staff came to my need and that the doctor remained so calm. He knew exactly what was happening and could explain it to me. The concern shown to me was also reassuring. I knew this wasn’t normal and in all the times I’ve been to the office in the last 5 months, I’ve never seen this happen to anyone else either, but I also knew the people there helping me had it under control.

After a while I began to feel well enough to realize how serious this could have been. If Elizabeth had not been able to immediately run and get the nurse, I don’t know what I would have done. I was practically immobile. Although my brain was still functioning, my body wouldn’t cooperate to help me communicate my desperation except for the little bit I managed do. When I thought about what could have happened if she wasn’t there I began to cry. Then I tried to talk to myself about not going there mentally. I have said for years that the devil works in the “what ifs” and so I decided to not allow myself to think about the “what ifs” in this situation. I instead thought of the ways God had taken care of me. He had Elizabeth there. She had seen me though more treatments than anyone else and knew this wasn’t normal. She immediately did the right thing to help me. The professionals there understood what was happening and took care of me properly. God was with me helping me in my weakness. I began this cancer journey with the verse, “In all things give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.” This thought sustained me though all the trials as it did this one.

This all happened today at a few minutes after 12 noon. It was the time that Dan had planned to pick up Elizabeth at chemo and have her ride with him to pick up our van. It had some work done on it and it was ready to be picked up. On his way to pick her up, he changed his mind and asked Abby to do it. The original plan was for Elizabeth to do it since Abby was supposed to be bridal gown shopping with her friend who is getting married later this year and Abby is going to be her maid-of-honor. Well, to make this long a little shorter, I’ll just say that the bride didn’t feel well today and so they didn’t go shopping. Thank God that He had Dan call Abby to do this errand so Elizabeth could be there for me. Again, I see that God had everything under control. It was still scary for me, but that was all. I was in His care.

The doctor told me that the last time one of his patients had a bad reaction to this drug, that patient spent a week in the hospital. Obviously his reaction was a lot more serious than mine. He also told me that since I had had 50 mg of Benadryl already and was responding well - the swelling, redness, breathing problems etc were all getting better- then I probably wouldn’t have to be hospitalized. That got my attention. I hadn’t realized before this that that might be a possibility. I am sitting at home writing this very thankful that I am not in the hospital. I am thankful that the EKG they did on my heart after this episode today showed my heart was in excellent condition. I can think of a list of things to be thankful for, but to sum it up, I am thankful that God knows and cares about all these things in my life. I know there are so many people who are suffering and that my problems are small compared to others, but He is so big and so mighty He can and does care for me. I stand in awe.

Thank you, Lord.

The Beginning of the End and Becoming a Nun

2004-12-30T20:01:00.000-05:00

Today I had the first treatment of my last round of chemo. I am scheduled for two more treatments, the last ending on Jan. 14th. I am beginning to experience the side effects again, which believe it or not, I had already actually forgotten about. I have had two weeks off and have been feeling so normal and healthy, that I forgot about how lousy I used to feel. It isn't that I forgot what the side effects were; it's that I forgot how they make me feel.

I guess this is a good thing because it means that once the treatments are finished I should be backing to feeling really good. I never thought I would forget what chemo feels like and yet here I am after just a short break from it, I have already forgotten. I don't know if it's because I have a really short memory or if it's because I have been focusing on the good things and not the negative. All through this cancer journey I have focused on the blessings in the midst of the trials. There have been so many blessings: answered prayer, God's faithfulness, support from so many loved ones including cards, meals, hugs, phone calls, emails, gifts, etc. , and strength for each day in the midst of weakness.

One more thing. . . I have wanted to inform you all that I am going to be a nun. Yes, it's true. I have been preparing for this for a while, but I haven't told many people yet. It is official now. I will be a nun in the community theater production of The Sound of Music. Did I get your attention on that one? I am so excited about being a part in the musical. The nuns sing all their songs in Latin and usually acapella. The music is beautiful and I have always loved the movie. If you are in Wilson during the first week of February, come and see me. I'll post more information on the play later. It is going to be great.

Thanks for keeping up with how I am doing. I have really appreciated so many of you reading this and encouraging me with your comments.

It Just Keeps on Getting Better

2004-12-12T18:19:00.000-05:00

I finished my fifth round of chemo last Friday. Each round consists of three treatments. I learned that the doctor wants me to complete six rounds, so that means that after Christmas I will just have to have three more treatments. How great is that?! I was prepared for another couple of months of chemo, but this is really good news. If the clean CT scan was my Christmas present, the ending of the chemotherapy will be my birthday present.

There is even more good news. I signed up for classes for next semester and I learned I had more credits than I thought I had. As it turns out I may be able to graduate this May! I was shocked. I thought that I had fallen too far behind since I had lightened my course load this summer and fall. But if I work hard I can finish it up this Spring. I am so excited I almost can't stand it. All I can think of is the verse that says that God is able to do exceeding, abundantly above all that we ask or think. (Eph. 3:20)

Rejoicing,

Good News

2004-12-05T17:21:00.000-05:00

Friday I got the results of my CT scan and it was really good news. The radiologist's opinion was that I was in full remission. My oncologist said he was a little more conservative and noted a little shaded area where the large tumor used to be and thought there still might be a remnant of the cancer left. Even still he stated that I was 90% healed and that this was "an impressive response." All of the little tumors that he called satellite tumors were all gone. There had been over a dozen.

We are all excited, relieved, thankful, and praising God. I just want to "go tell it on the mountain" but I guess that telephoning and blogging are the new ways to do that and that is what I am doing. I will still continue the chemo until the doctor is certain that all the cancer is gone. But just as a number of people have already stated, I have received my Christmas present early.

We celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ at this time because He bridged the gap between us and God. Because of this, God still answers prayer and is still in the healing business. I thank all of you who have prayed for my healing and above all I thank God.

Thanksgiving Vacation

2004-11-28T22:53:00.000-05:00

This has been a really great Thanksgiving vacation. My oncologist took the Friday after Thanksgiving off which meant that I got a week off from chemotherapy. It has been so great to have a week off from feeling sick.

I made Thanksgiving dinner and all six of us were gathered together for the day. We talked about things we were thankful for and it was good to hear from each person in the family telling specific things for which they were thankful. After dinner we played a game together and watched a movie. It was restful, peaceful, and a quiet day. We all had a great time enjoying each other’s company.

Friday evening Dan, our older two kids, and I went to the Picasso and Matisse exhibit at the N.C. Museum of Art. We had a great time viewing the art together and afterwards we had dessert at the restaurant there. It was such delightful time. On Saturday night some of us went to see “American Treasure.” It was a good movie and we had a great time again. What a blessing it is to feel good and enjoy doing things that only a year ago I probably took for granted.

This Wednesday, Dec. 1st, I will be having another CT scan. This is an important test so the doctor can determine how well my body is responding to the chemo.
I’ll let you know what I find out.

The Sunrise

2004-11-22T10:52:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I went to the beach for a retreat. I have been going to this retreat every November for about 12 years. Last year I watched the sunrise and it was spectacular. For a long time I could see the brightness before the sun actually could be seen. The colors of pink and orange appeared stretching across the sky over the vastness of the ocean. It was so beautiful that I have looked forward to seeing it again all year. I woke up early in order to see it, but both mornings there were dark clouds in the way and I couldn’t see the sun. I know the sun came up. The light was evident of that, but I couldn’t tell exactly when the sunrise began or even if there was a sunrise. There were no beautiful colors in the sky.

From my perspective things were different. The clouds were in the way and that was the problem. But I see from God’s perspective nothing had changed. From the earthly point of view, the sun comes up. From the heavenly view point, the sun doesn’t go up or down. The earth circles around the sun as it spins on its axis. The sunrise from the heavenly viewpoint doesn’t change. I thought about this for quite a while in respect to how my life has changed since last year. In one respect, nothing has changed. That is the heavenly viewpoint. From an earthly viewpoint everything has changed. Lots of very thick dark clouds have appeared, so thick that I can’t see the sun; I even wonder if the sun has come up yet. The clouds are like cancer. They seem to hide the Son; His beauty, radiance and light. But that’s only from an earthly perspective.

I need a heavenly perspective. From a heavenly perspective the Son has not changed. The cancer is just a few dark clouds, no match for the radiance, power, beauty and glory of God. Things do look different this year from my perspective. The time and place of where I am affects my perspective. But if I remember I don’t have a good perspective here on earth to see the big, universal picture, then I must trust the One who does have the right perspective on the big universe. He sees the big picture. He sees me and He sees the clouds. He is even with me; in fact He is in me.

This year driving to the retreat we fought heavy rain that blinded us and blustery cold winds that pushed us when we were walking. But it is just weather. The earth hasn’t moved off its axis, the sun still is giving off its heat and light. Nothing has really changed. It just looks and feels different. Tomorrow will be a new day. It may look even more different, but from God’s viewpoint, the big picture, everything is the same because He is still in control.

People ask me how I am doing. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. I am hanging in there. I still feel like I am riding the rollercoaster blindfolded, but I am getting used to it. Am I having fun? Not really, chemo is not fun. It is hard. It’s not impossible, but it is hard. I guess you could say, I am trying to keep the right perspective. I am trying to get God’s perspective on all this. He says to give thanks in all things, so I think of all the things I have to be thankful for. There are many: medical advances in understanding how to fight cancer, the support and love from family and friends, the power of prayer and God’s daily presence and strength and . . . the sunrise. Everyday whether it looks as pretty as a picture or as dark as a storm brewing, either way the sunrise denotes a new day. A new day is something for which I can be truly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving !

The Rollercoaster

2004-11-09T18:54:00.000-05:00

I continue to feel like I am on a rollercoaster, except that I didn't ask to get on, I don't know when it will stop, and I feel like I am blindfolded. I can't predict when there is a turn, an upward climb, or a downward spiral. For a while I felt like I was on a plateau, but not now. Everyday I can't even predict what the next hour will hold. Last Saturday I was so sick I spent most of the day in my p.j.'s. I got dressed so I could go for a walk, but then I couldn't even make it to the stopping place where I usually go. I kept feeling weak and nauseous. I kept drinking my water bottle while I walked, but finally I gave up, turned around and went back home. I didn't even feel that defeated. At least I tried to do it. Then when I got back home I went back to bed. What excitement! The next day I felt pretty well. I went to church, even sang in the choir and recited a Bible verse. I had some energy and enjoyed it. The nausea and constant metal taste was tolerable. After church I felt good enough to cook dinner and eat. Then I crashed and slept for a long autumn nap.

Monday, yesterday, was hard emotionally because it was the first time that I noticed that my toes felt a little numb. When I started chemo, I was told that one of my drugs, Taxel, causes nerve damage in one's extemities. The first things that are affected are the fingers and toes. It was disappointing, but I am getting used to the idea. My toes still feel a little numb, but my fingers feel normal. It is weird. It started on my left foot. The big toe and the little toe doesn't seem to be affected, just the middle three. About an hour after I noticed it happening, then the same feeling came over my right foot. I had to speak at the Baptist Women's Day of World Prayer event later that night which meant that I was on my feet for quite a while. I also wore a pair of shoes that proved not to be so smart since they had pointed toes and 1 1/2" heels. It's hard to explain what my toes feel like. They aren't totally numb, I guess it would be more acturate to say they are semi-numb. And during the time I was wearing the shoes, they were simply hurting. So I said all that to say, the rollercoaster continues to take me places I don't expect. There's something new around the bend continually.

Today I had to go to a new doctor because I have some secondary infections which are a result of being on so much medicine. (I will spare you the details and me the embarrassment to explain.) As a result, I had to miss the whole day of school which is the first time this semester that I did that. It was a disappointment to not go to class, but I didn't have the time or the energy to do both. Now I have a lot of new medicine to take in addition to the other I already had. The good news is that I don't seem to have anything too problematic, just aggravating. The other good news is that my taste buds are back to almost normal and things are beginning to taste like they should. That is a simple pleasure that I cannot tell you how much I appreciate these days. Another good thing is that I have finished my fourth round of chemo now, so I will have my week off beginning this Friday. I will only have one drug, the herceptin, which has very few side effects. That means I should feel good for a whole week, hopefully. Even as I write this I have to wonder. Nothing is for sure when you are on the cancer rollercoaster. All I can be sure of is that God will be with me; He knows where I am, where the turns, the upward climbs, and the downward spirals are. He sees it all and He will never leave me or forsake me. He is faithful. I am hanging in there for the full ride. I have always loved rollercoasters, I just have a new perspective on them now.

Doing well

2004-10-27T09:09:00.000-04:00

I have been having trouble thinking of something to write this week since I feel pretty good. I don't have any stories of any new problems or any words of wisdom from things I've learned about adversity. Then it dawned on me that was worth reporting. I feel good. I had the regular 2-3 lousy days post chemo, but after that I have been feeling well. In fact I mostly feel like "the old me." It is so nice to feel good. I have a new appreciation for that feeling which before cancer I probably took for granted far too much. I have been busy with school; I have two mid-term exams this week and an oral report was due. I am trying not to over-do this week, but just do what needs to be done and conserve the energy I need for healing etc, but I am surely thankful for the strength and good health I am feeling. Thank you all for praying for me, it is working. I think I am about half way through chemo at this point and to feel this good is amazing. I continue to "give thanks in all things."

I hope you all are doing well also. Let me know how you are and who you are on the comments part of this site. It is fun to read who is reading me and what you are thinking.

Karen

Pacing myself

2004-10-20T21:42:00.000-04:00

This is my "week off" which means that I only had Herceptin last Friday. I could tell the difference right away. It feels good to feel good again. I forget what it feels like to feel good until I feel it and then I remember how great it is. The only problem is that I forget that I don't have the stamina to do the things I used to do. I have to learn to pace myself when I do feel good because if I don't pace myself then I feel exhausted later. It is easier to pace myself when I feel lousy, but when I feel good I forget to be careful. It is all part of the learning to live with cancer and chemo. There is something new to learn all the time, even if it is things you wish you didn't need to learn.

Aside from these discoveries, I am having a good week. I am thankful for the beautiful weather and the amazing color of the changing leaves. I picked up some gorgeous leaves from our yard and brought them inside so I could see them more often. I appreciate the beauty in creation and am thankful for every new blessing from God. His mercies are new every morning, I just want to notice them and not take them for granted.

I have one more day to feel good before I start my next round of chemo again.

Weak this week

2004-10-13T21:23:00.000-04:00

I haven't written much for a while because I haven't been feeling well. This was the first Sunday I didn't make it to church since I was diagnosed. I have cut back on many of my regular activities and I have been sleeping a lot. I was having a lot of trouble with diarrhea, but I feel better today. I slept most of the morning and also took a nap in the afternoon. I don't really feel badly, just simply weak. Friday I will have a week off from my regular chemo drugs; I will just get the Herceptin so I should help feel stronger next week.

I went to school on Tuesday and plan to go again tomorrow. It is amazing to me how I start out feeling like I probably can't go, but as the day goes on I get stronger. I believe two things are going on. I know that God is enabling me to complete what He has started. His grace is sufficient for me and His power is perfected in my weakness. The other thing happening is that my mind is concentrating on things other than myself. In both cases, when I am weak, then I am strong as it says in 2 Cor. 12:10.

Thankfulness

2004-10-04T17:29:00.000-04:00

I heard today on the "Today" show that stress and thankfulness cannot exist together. I thought that was pretty interesting. Wouldn't that be something if we learned that the antidote to stress was simply being thankful? That is what an "energy coach" stated today. I have been thinking about this off and on all day because before I started this cancer journey I had purposed to "give thanks in all things for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus." About a week after I learned that I had cancer, I decided that I would continue to look for things to be thankful for in spite of the bad situaltion.

Last Friday, at my last chemo treatment, there were two different things for which I was thankful. First, I was thankful that I am now 1/3 of the way through my 6 month treatment. Back in July when the doctor first started talking about 6 months of chemo, I thought that was a really long time. At this point it doesn't seem all that long. During this time I have seen God's strength and help daily. Even last Friday I met a woman at chemo who is at the beginning of her breast cancer treatment. As she and I sat in our recliners, being infused with the drugs, her husband I sang hymns and shared our stories of our faith. It was such a nice time that I didn't even think about the drugs, pain, cancer, and other negitive things. Some friends came by to visit with me about the same time the woman and her husband were leaving, so during the whole 4 hour ordeal at chemo, I was simply enjoying myself. The whole time was pleasant. Just like the saying,"find joy in every journey," having a thankful attitude means choosing to focus on what is good instead of the bad. This may be the most important thing I may learn during this jouney.

Another weird thing to be thankful for was the fact that I have gained some weight. It's no wonder. It seems like I mostly eat and sleep a lot of the day. My activity level is way lower than what it used to be. Well anyway, each week I have to have a shot to raise my hemoglobin level; I have had this painful shot twice before, but I recently learned that it was more painful for me because I don't have much fat in my arm where the shot is injected. I asked the nurse why she couldn't inject me in a place with some more fat. Lo and behold, I learned that she could! So I have something else to be thankful for. The nurse tried injecting me in the tummy where the new weight gain is and what a difference itmade! The shot was so much less painful that I almost didn't even notice it.

Enjoying the journey and thankful to be alive,

Karen

Comments

2004-09-28T17:14:00.000-04:00

In order to make things easier, I have decided to open up comments up to anyone. One no longer has to register. So feel free to leave a note for mom.

Progress

2004-09-25T13:10:00.000-04:00

I went to the oncologist yesterday and learned that the liver tumors are shrinking. We looked at the CT scans from Duke taken in July and compared them to those taken at the Wilson hospital last Wednesday. There is a difference in size; the largest tumor was about 2.3 cm. and now it is 1.8 cm. It may not seem significant to you, but it is progress. It indicates that my body is responding to the chemo and so we are going to keep on with the same medications.

One interesting thing that I learned about the CT scans was that the CT scan in Wilson is a higher resolution machine than the one at Duke. The doctor told me that it that was because in a teaching hospital often they have to go through 8 different committees just to get a new machine, whereas in a small community hospital there is less bureaucracy and so they just go buy what they want. Who knew? The higher resolution scan showed also that I have a number of little tumors that probably were there before but that didn't show up in the first scan. The first scan showed some shadow there, but it wasn't clear enough to see what exactly was there. Anyway, it was good news and I am thankful. I have been lifted up in prayer in many different churches and by many different individuals. I am so thankful. God is hearing and answering all those prayers. He is faithful. Thank you all for praying. Please keep it up, I've got a ways to go. I am scheduled to be on chemo for 6 months, so that means at least 4 more from this point.
The road is long and we're not there yet, but we are making progress. That's good news.
Karen

Are we there yet?

2004-09-21T18:51:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about my wanting to hear about how the chemo is progressing and I feel like I am responding like one of my kids when we used to drive from Mississippi to NY. Matt was only about 2 years old at the time and would ask, "Are we there yet?" when we had only gone about a half hour. The trip took about 21 or 22 hours, but he was anxious to get there and would understandably ask if we were there yet. Last week, even though I knew that the chemo was supposed to take 6 months, I was hoping for a miracle and that "we would be there" after only 7 weeks. Oh well, so I am still learning that this journey, this cancer journey that I am on (even though I didn't want or volunteer to go) is going to be long. I cannot rush it, I just must be patient and see the good in the journey. There are good things to see, just as on all journeys, such as the beauty in life, the joy of friends and family, and the power of prayer.
So I am not there yet, I am still hanging on for the ride and finding joy in the journey.
Karen

waiting for news

2004-09-17T22:06:00.000-04:00

I thought that I would know today, Sept. 17th, about how my chemo is progressing, but because the CT scan from Duke didn't arrive here in Wilson yet, the doctor couldn't compare the two scans. Therefore I have to wait until next week to know if the chemo is working. The good news is that the doctor here didn't see any new tumors.
Today my hemoglobin was low, so I had to have an injection to help my body make more red blood cells. Other than that I feel pretty good. I have been going to my seminary classes and I really enjoy them. On Tuesday I didn't think I was up to going, but I tried it and with the Lord's help I did well. I didn't feel like I was well enough to go, but since Carol was driving and we left with the understanding that I could turn around and go home whenever I needed, I gave it a try. Sitting in a class, learning new things gives my mind other things to think about other than how I feel. It is really good for me. Because I have had a lot of medical appointments this week, it has been hard to do the classwork. Of course there has been a lot of time spent waiting, like in the hospital or at the doctor's office, so I use the time to do the required reading assignments.
I started taking a beginning piano class this semester so I just started to work at practicing the piano. It is great therapy.
Karen

A week of testing

2004-09-15T10:41:00.000-04:00

On Monday I had my port-a-cath tested to see if it was functioning properly. Today, Wednesday, I am having a CT scan. The port was working correctly, which is great, but I am still having pain in the area. The CT scan is to look at the liver tumors and compare their size with what they looked like 7 weeks ago. This is to determine if the chemo has been effective. I'll let you know what I find out. The scan is at 1:30, but I won't hear the results until Friday, probably.

Karen

You Might Be in a Redneck Hospital...

2004-09-13T16:42:00.000-04:00

This is an Elizabethan entry. (I love it that my name is also an adjective.)

Mom has been having some minor troubles with her portocath, and this weekend it got infected. So the nice folks at the chemo clinic scheduled an appointment for her at Wilson Memorial, so that the surgeon who put it in could have a look at it.

The main problem was that some sutures were poking out of the skin and acting as a conduit for infection. Since everyone knows that you put antibiotic ointment on infections, that's what mom did. After all, we wouldn't want it to get any worse before the doctors could look at it on Monday. The ointment worked and it started to heal, but naturally we kept the appointment.

We checked in about 8:30. The receptionist asked the reason for the visit, and my mom said she was having a problem with her sutures. The doctor looked at the portocath, and scheduled some blood work.

While she was waiting in line to have her blood drawn, Mom looked over the insurance papers. Under diagnosis, someone had neatly typed, "Suchers."

If you're getting "suchers" you might be in a redneck hospital.

Oh, and to tie things up neatly, the portocath seems fine now. They said if it gets infected again, we should not put antibiotic ointment on it but should see the doctor right away instead.

continuing chemo

2004-09-04T21:22:00.000-04:00

I had my second chemo treatment of my second round of chemo yesterday. I have responded better today than I have in the past. I am not as nauseous or exhausted as usual. I have been drinking carrot juice and pushing liquids which I think has made a difference. I have lost most of my hair this week. I finally gave up and had Dan shave it to about a half inch length. When I looked in the mirror I was horrified. I looked like Uncle Festus on the Adams Family. But it was necessary to cut it so short since the hair was falling out continually. I would wake up in the morning and find hair all over my pillow and even in my mouth. If I even touched my hair it would come out in my hands. It makes it easier to put medicine on the sores on my scalp now that there isn't much hair in the way. I have a lot to be thankful for. I don't have the sores in my mouth that other people talk about. It seems like sores on the head must be easier to deal with than ones in the mouth. Also I continue to get cards, phone calls and many different ways people have been extending their care and concern which continues to encourage me.

I wrote a poem and put it on a thank you card that expresses briefly how much we appreciate all the acts of kindness shown to me. I will reprint it here:
We want to say,
In this simple way,
That we're thankful for your care,
Especially your prayer,
And all the other ways you show,
The Good Shepherd's love that we know.
Kind and thoughtful gestures of
His faithfulness and love,
Have been delightfully revealed,
By your cards and letters, gifts and meals.

Different people from our church have been bringing meals on Fridays, the day I have chemo, and it has been a great help. Each time the food has been delicious and just perfect for the day.
My mom came for a visit this week and it had been great. We have had a great time catching up. It is pretty quiet here. Some of the kids are away with friends for the long Labor Day weekend.
I have put the many cards and letters that I've received in a scrapbook. In fact, I've received so many I have had to start a second book. It is a great way to keep them all and to re-read each one when I want to. It wasn't until this all happened to me that I understood how important it is to send a card or note to someone. It really does make a difference. The encouragement is every therapeutic emotionally and spiritually, which inevitably makes a difference on one's physical health as well.

That's all for now. Thanks for caring for Karen.

Karen

Diagnosis - Metastatic Breast Cancer (Stage 4)

2004-08-29T18:18:00.000-04:00

This was written by Karen's husband, Dan. I was reading her postings and I realized that from what is there you would assume that she has had a mastectomy. This is not the case. The CT scan came back showing two tumors in Karen's liver. One was 2 cm. and the other about 0.5 cm. The location of these tumors is only inches away from the site of the original tumor. The biopsy proved these tumors to be malignant. Therefore the mastectomy was cancelled - the only purpose of a mastectomy is to keep the cancer from spreading. Since hers has already spread, the mastectomy serves no purpose.

You can imagine that this was shocking news. After all, last September her mammogram was clean, and now she has breast cancer already metastasized to her liver! The answer to this is probably Her-2/neu. Never heard of it? Neither had we! It turns out that something like 20% of women with breast cancer have the Her-2/neu factor. Her-2 is formally known as human epidermal growth factor receptor. What happens is the Her-2/neu gene is over-expressed in the cancer tumor. This causes the cancer to be excessively aggressive. Her-2/neu is graded on a scale of 0 to 3+. Values of 2 and over are considered to be over-expressing. Karen tested 3+. The good news is that in 1998 the FDA approved a new drug named Herceptin (Trastumazab) - a monoclonal antibody engineered through biotechnology which binds to the HER-2 proteins (receptors) on the tumor cell surface. The bad news is that the administration of Herceptin can result in the development of ventricular dysfunction and congestive heart failure, particularly when combined with certain chemotherapies. The heart damage is usually reversible.

Karen is receiving Chemotherapy every week for three weeks with one week off. She is receiving Taxol and Carboplatin. This combination of drugs usually results in some amount of neurotoxicity (nerve damage) which is not reversible. She gets Herceptin every week. This is expected to last for six months. Adding Carboplatin to Taxol doubles the toxicity, but it also doubles the response rate and the time to progression. The oncologists are aiming for a complete response.

If you want to know more about Herceptin or Taxol and Carboplatin, just enter "metastatic breast cancer" and the other words you are interested in into Google or other search engine. There is lot's of good data out there.

The two rules for visiting/calling Karen: Don't come if you or anyone with you have a cold or are sick, and no war stories. We need you to help her keep a strongly positive outlook. We thank you for your calls and cards, and especially thank you for your prayers. We are counting on a miracle!

chemo brain

2004-08-27T22:24:00.000-04:00

I have not written in the blog for weeks because I just felt overwhelmed by having one more thing to do. But today Mark helped me find some of the emails I wrote last month and posted them to get you caught up with what is new in my cancer treatment. I have finished my first round of chemo and started the second round today. I am getting Taxol, Carboplatin, and Herceptin besides a few pre-medications given to keep me from getting nauseous. I go every Friday and it usually takes about 3 1/2- 4 hours. I am very thankful that even though my doctor is at Duke, I can get the chemo administer here in Wilson. That saves me at least 3 extra hours of driving. The doctor here is in contact with the doctor at Duke and so I feel like I am in good hands.

The side effects of chemo have been daunting. I realize now how much I have taken for granted my good health. I have had so much energy for so long that it has been a major adjustment to feel tired, sick, nauseous, and sore much of the time. I know this is part of the battle, but I don't really enjoy it. On the other hand, I want to beat this thing, so I go in to chemo with the " bring it on" attitude in order that I can have the tools to fight off the cancer. At this point I have about only 1/4 the hair I used to have. I usually wear a wig or a hat. I am planning to cut my hair again so that it will be about 1/2 inch long. I falls out everywhere and is getting to be a nuisance.

My chemo schedule is 3 weeks on and 1 week off. Well, not quite one week off: I don't get a week off Herceptin since that is the drug that controls the Her-2 condition that I have. But as I learned last week, that drug doesn't have many side effects. I felt like my old self last week and it was wonderful! I went to school (Southeastern Baptist Theol. Seminary) for the first week of Fall classes. It was so great to be there. I am getting my Masters of Divinity degree and hoping to graduate in May. It is a 3 year program. I have already completed 2 years and it has been my goal to graduate this year. This was supposed to be my easy year, but now that I am fighting cancer, it doesn't look so easy. But anyway it felt great to be there this week. As I was sitting in class thinking about Hebrew, writing papers, reading books etc somewhere during that time I forgot about my cancer, chemo, and condition. It was wonderful! As far as how well I will do this semester and if I can handle a full load of classes, only time will tell. But for now I am taking it one step at a time and trusting the Lord to help me.

This pretty much catches you up to date.

Karen

Explanation of posts

2004-08-27T21:35:00.000-04:00

Mom sent out various emails to different people prior to setting up this blog. In order to help explain how things have developed over the past couple of months, I have edited them and posted them on the day sent. This also keeps them in the present tense instead of hindsight. These email posts are found below.

Learning I have cancer

2004-08-07T18:50:00.000-04:00

This summer has proven to be very memorable for me. In early June, Dan and I went on a cruise to the western Caribbean. We had a great time and I never felt healthier. I remember snorkeling in the beautiful warm water and rejoicing over feeling so well and being thankful for being so healthy.

I knew that I had a lump in my left breast, but I normally have lumps and I regularly get them checked and they are always nothing to worry about so I didn't worry about this one either. This lump was large and very painful and it didn't feel like the "frozen pea" that I have always been told to watch out for. After we returned from the cruise, Dan encouraged me to go to the doctor and have him check the lump. I did so and he assured me it was not cancer, but suggested that I get an ultrasound to be sure. He said I didn't need a monogram since I had one only 9 months ago. The ultrasound showed there was something there, but the 2 technicians and a radiological concurred it was nothing to worry about. I was just told that if it changed, then I should go back to my doctor but if it remained the same, then I shouldn't worry about it. I told the technician that my doctor had also made an appointment for me with a local surgeon to get his opinion. I asked if I should keep that appointment, she assured me I should so I did.

I went to the surgeon early on Monday morning, June 28th. He examined the lump and said that usually he would do a needle biopsy, but he recommended we skip that and just remove the lump. He said we didn't need to do the biopsy since "it's not cancer" and he could spare me some unnecessary poking and prodding.

He did the surgery later that day and told me it was rather large, but not to worry about it because he was 90% sure it wasn't cancer. He said he would sent it to the pathologist just to be sure, but not to worry about it. Two days later when I came into his office to get the bandages changed he told me that the pathology report came back and that it was cancer. I was shocked, of course, since up until that time each person who had looked at it assured me it was benign. I figured that there must be some mistake. I am so healthy and feel great, but the doctor said there was no mistake. He said he went back and looked at the ultrasound from the previous week and said the cancer was there. He also looked at my September mammogram and that it wasn't there then. The pathology report said it was an aggressive form of cancer. The surgeon told me it was important for me to get a mastectomy immediately before it spread. He said the cancer was only at stage one, which means it is localized just in the breast. He wanted to schedule me for the surgery on Friday. I told him I wanted to get another opinion and that I would think about it.

Although I was shaken, I also had a peace. It 's hard to describe what I was feeling.

welcome/introduction

2004-07-22T23:46:00.000-04:00

Mom has made several offhanded comments about writing a book. I have set up this so that she has a place to write. I figure she's probably got something to say worth reading; if not, it'll save us from having to buy the book.

I have enabled comments. I'm sure she would be pleased with positive feedback. (Rude, mean, or unacceptable comments will not be tolerated.) Good luck, mom.

Email Post 7

2004-07-22T21:29:00.000-04:00

After going to a doctor here in Wilson, NC,and having a "supposedly benign tumor" removed, the pathology report showed I had an aggressive form ofbreast cancer. Then I went to a breast cancer specialist at Duke Univ. Hospital.

He ran a number of tests and from the CT scan I learned I also have two tumors in my liver. The biopsy came back Wednesday which said that they were cancerous also, but the primary source was from the breast. A medical oncologist is now directing my case who is waiting for the remaining tests to come back to let him know exactly what I have. One test showed what they had suspected, that I have a HER 2 marker. I have begun to research this, but to be honest it is a little hard to take it all in so I don't really have enough information to give you to speak about this intelligently.

I have finished 2 of the 3 years for my Masters of Divinity. I never was sure why the Lord wanted me to go to seminary, except that He told me to go. Many people ask me what I am going to be when I grow up. Last year I felt like the Lord gave me an answer to that question; I'm going to be ready. I didn't know what I was going to be ready for, but I was content to know that whatever it was I would be ready. So now I am wondering if this is what He was getting me ready for. I don't have medical knowledge, but I do have a deeper knowledge of God and His perfect ways.

So now I am waiting for the next step and trusting God that He is in control. Thank you so much for praying and for requesting prayer for others to pray for me. It means so much to me! I am learning what it means to have the peace that passes understanding.

Love,

Karen

Email Post 6

2004-07-18T21:28:00.000-04:00

I had a very busy weekend, also. The bottom line is that the CT scan showed tumors on my liver, so I went for a biopsy on Friday. I will hear the results on Mon. or Tues. hopefully. I have a doctor's appt. on Thursday.

God is in control and I am resting in Him. I took the news of the possible liver cancer hard at first, but I am ok with it now. If I have it, then ok let's get on with treating it. Yesterday a friend came over and told me she felt that the Lord wanted her to drive me to seminary next fall. I was overwhelmed by her kindness. She is a good friend and a graduate of the seminary. Today was a good day. I am feeling better from the biopsy today and have been encouraged by seeing people at church and a baseball game. Everyone it seems is praying for me. I feel so honored. There are so many other things in the world to pray for, I am humbled that God is hearing about me from people all over the world.

Gotta go now,

Love ya.

Karen

Email Post 5

2004-07-16T21:26:00.000-04:00

It may take a while to tell the latest. The bottom line is there are 2 tumors in my liver. Today I had a liver biopsy, the results will be back on Monday or Tuesday. Since I may also have liver cancer, the mastectomy is postponed.

I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for your prayers.

Karen

Email Post 4

2004-07-13T21:25:00.000-04:00

I am doing ok, although I must admit that today reality is setting in more than it did last week. I was attacking the problem, learning about cancer, going through tests such as bone scan, CT scans, chest X-rays and the like to see if there is any other cancer in my body and other proactive activities. This week I am primarily waiting, getting things in order at home, and preparing for the surgery. I think the later is harder mentally.

I sometimes have trouble writing because it forces me to articulate my feelings. Part of me doesn't want to do that because I don't want to recognize what I feel. Does any of this make since? Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I hope you understand if some days I don't write right back. I am doing all I can to keep my heart and mind on track. I am trying to take every thought captive and not let my mind go off the deep end. Usually I am very successful, and most people would tell you I am taking all this so well, but since you are close to my heart I can't pretend with you. I don't want you to get a dismal picture, and I am afraid you might from this email, but please don't. I am trusting this will work out for good. This experience will be used many times over and that I will always be thankful for it. But just because things are good, doesn't mean that they are easy or fun. I remember the day you all left for your new home and M said, "Mommy, I can't do this. It's too hard!" We all looked at her helplessly because we all had our hands full and couldn't help her and then you responded, "Well M, sometimes we have to do hard things." It was so profound. I will never forget it. I have been thinking about that a lot recently. Well, I already feel better. I got some of these things off my chest and I think it was therapeutic.

Well I have to go now. I am going to meet with the school principal about M's class schedule for the fall. I still can't believe he will be a Senior this year. Then I have to talk to my hair dresser about getting a wig and other related things in preparation for the chemo. Then M and I are going school shopping. He is worried that he won't have school clothes in time for the start of school if we don't do it before my surgery next Tues. He is probably right so we are going today. We have to leave soon.

I'll talk to you later,

Love ya lots,

Karen

Email Post 3

2004-07-10T21:24:00.000-04:00

I just finished a battery of tests at Duke: chest X-ray, mammogram, CT scan, bone scan, blood tests. They took 2 days. I have seen the result of the mammogram already and it looks like I don't have any other lumps. The doctor told me to not get my hopes up because mammograms don't show if you have microscopic cancer cells, but at least we know there isn't anything obvious that we need to be concerned with.

The way things stand now I am scheduled for a mastectomy (left breast only) on Tuesday, July 20th. I haven't heard if they found any other cancer in my body, but I figure that if they did I will hear about it soon. So at this point no news is good news.

Love ya,

Karen

2004-07-07T17:40:00.000-04:00

This is my friend, Mary, who went with me to Duke for my first appointment. We are in the waiting room discussing what I had just learned. Mary went through breast cancer last year.

Email Post 2

2004-07-06T21:23:00.000-04:00

I wanted to let you know what the latest news with me is. I found out recently that I have breast cancer. I am going to go to Duke Univ. Hospital tomorrow to get a second opinion; I am very thankful that I could get an appointment this quickly.

I will write to you again later after I know more, but in the meantime I wanted to ask you to remember me in your prayers. The diagnosis was a real shock since I feel so healthy. But the fact that I am in otherwise good health is of course a blessing since I probably am looking at a mastectomy, chemo and who knows what else.

I will be leaving tomorrow morning about 7:30 a.m. Duke is a little over an hour away from our home. Dan and I are going to take a detour on the way to pick up a friend. She had breast cancer last year and wanted to go with me tomorrow. The fact that she wanted go with me to meet her doctor, show us how to get there, where to park, what building to go in etc. will be a nice gift. She will also be there to give me advice and to know what is normal and what is not. Anyway I just wanted to tell you this, hopefully the next email I write will be more positive. I am really at peace about the cancer, but I do have my moments when my emotions feel like they are on a rollercoaster.

It's getting late and I have to get ready for tomorrow,

I'll talk to you soon,

Karen

Email post 1

2004-06-30T21:22:00.000-04:00

I am writing to you friends to let you know that I just learned that I was diagnosed today with an aggressive form of breast cancer and wanted to let you know. I am just now trying to figure out what to do first, etc. But in the meantime I thought you all would want to know. I covet your prayers for me and my family. Also I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom to make the right decisions. The doctor tells me that I need to have surgery very soon in order to keep the cancer from spreading etc.

I am doing well other than this news. I know the Lord is in control and He is with me.

This is all I can write at this time, but I just wanted to get this to you as soon as possible. Sorry it is so blunt and to the point.

I appreciate all of you.

Karen

2004-06-29T17:29:00.000-04:00

testing out posting pictures. this is mom and dad from a recent cruise for their anniversary.