Carin' for Karen

Karen tells us how crappy chemo is, and we tell her how uncrappy she is.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Do you hear what I hear?

Last week I went to East Carolina University to take the Miller Analogy Test. I needed to take it in order to apply for the Ph.D. program. Obviously this brings up a whole new subject which I will address at another time, but for now suffice it to say that’s why I was there. After the test, I was getting back in my car when I heard a bird singing its heart out. It was so amazing to listen to that I had to stop and pay attention to the concert. I couldn’t see the bird, but it was obvious that it was in the tree right in front of my car. The music was captivating; I hadn’t heard anything like it in ages. The bird was singing so loudly and with such gusto that I was intrigued. In addition, the bird song varied continually which prolonged my attention.

As I stood at my car door listening to this beautiful performance, I couldn’t help but comment to a lady walking by. (She was a student about my age, which in itself was unusual since most of the students walking by were around my kids’ ages.) So here I am standing with my keys in the car door, captivated by the wonderful melody proceeding from the tree in front of me, when I just comment to this woman walking by that the music we were hearing was glorious.

She looked at me with a surprised expression on her face and then responded that she hadn’t noticed the bird singing. She said that she’d been in this school for close to seven years and that the bird sings like that everyday. She said that she has become so accustomed to hearing it that she doesn’t hear it anymore.

I have been thinking about her comment for a week now. There is such a lesson in that. Is there something beautiful that I experience everyday that I have become oblivious to? Are there blessings which God bestows on me daily that I take for granted just because they are so recurrent? Do we all do this and if so what wonders are we missing because we are not appreciating them?

This week I had the joy of pushing a baby in a stroller. It had been a long time since I had done this and I hadn’t realized what a precious experience it was or how much I missed it. I am realizing that there are so many simple pleasures everyday, but I need to pay attention to them when they are happening or I will miss them completely. Hearing a bird singing, walking a sleepy baby, talking to a friend, holding a loved one’s hand, appreciating God’s beauty in creation - these are some things I want to continue to become aware of and be grateful for because they are what make life fulfilling. I am not sure if I would have noticed the bird singing had I not been appreciating life more because of my cancer journey.

If cancer has made me more grateful for life, then I choose to be grateful for cancer. I started this journey with I Thes. 5:18- “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I am still on the journey and the same truth continues to guide me.